Scrubby scrubby

I like to think I'm a pretty good cook, when I have the time that is. I can come up that usually tastes pretty good and is mildly creative. The quick and dirty cooking doesn't really count since its largely to do with functionality. 

(Thawed chicken... Must cook... Sort of variety) 

But when I have time I like to play in the kitchen. ( have to share that I just wrote chicken instead)  anyway. 

The thing I've lately noticed is I'm scorching things to the bottom of my cook wear. Mega annoying and mega annoying. I don't even do it on purpose. Or I guess no one does but it makes me feel spacey.  

Oh well.... Lot on my mind. I think yes. 

I am enough

I've been doing a lot of thinking about how I approach life and the fact that I am the supreme undervaluer of myself. I don't really believe in the whole law of attraction, but there is something to think of when you completely know you underestimate yourself. 

The question of course comes with how do you fix it, or change something that is completely internal to yourself. 

The first thing I've been doing has been instituting this new mantra. " I am enough" especially during my yoga practice, which is really one of the few times I can be truly in tune with my internal being. This mantra was actually given to me by a fellow yogi and I don't think she even knows. It's so beautifully simple that it really perfect. And that is really why I like yoga. I mean I think lots of people would agree that the first step to any change is to accept the truth about wherever your starting point is. I mean how can I change something if I don't admit where the "start" is. Be it behaviorally, cognitively or social.,. And really I think about all of them. But I need to stop thinking seventeen steps ahead and realize even if I want to change something the first thing I need to do is accept myself.

I am enough...I am enough... I am enough 

The weird kid.

Maybe therapy has made me an over sharer but I have lately in particular managed to pin point at least some of the reasons that I act the way I do. And that is always a good thing, I think. Cause that's always the first step to fixing the "problem". 

I have for as long as I remember felt like the weird kid. Granted the way I dressed, did my hair and to a certain extent talked ( you can ask my siblings about that one) didn't do me any favors. And forever I was always the person that was sort of passed over in social settings, in the background, not fully noticed. I'm not sure how it all began. But after 30 yrs its pretty much the norm to feel like that. And sort of expect that to happen. 

The interesting thing happened last weekend while out with some crossfit girls. All the other girls in the party got hit on but me. And I started thinking, these girls aren't any prettier then me. We all had similarly athletic builds. So what gives. Now I'm sort of thinking its me. Not in the I'm ugly and unnoticeable sense of its me. But I must project something that makes it seem like I don't want to be noticed... Even if I do. Though its hard to rationalize this when we are talking drunken bar action, but you get the idea. 

So this brings me to my plan of attack or something like that. I will try and figure out how to get myself to feel like I should be noticed. I hate being the center of attention, so the idea of going directly to the bullseye well is just not achievable right now, but we'll inch toward it. Because it makes sense to me that if I expect to be noticed more. I will be. 

Or at the very least, can hurt

First Pride

This month is Pride month across the US and this weekend was the main pride celebrations in Boston.  I attended the parade, and actually marched in the parade.  It was wicked fun and a little scary.  I mean anything that involves getting stared at is a little scary but it was really fun.  I started by meeting people from Biogen at a very swanky apartment in the south end.  It was fun to meet some people from work that I didn't know.  And we all walked over to where the we had to start.  Which was about half way down boylston.  Near the Oriental Hotel. 

The parade started in Copley Sq and made it way through the South End and ended up at Government Center.  It actually was very long and got kind of tiring because we had to stop a lot.  But it was really fun and I talked to this nice girl that worked in Finance the entire time.  It was fun to pass out beads and see everyone being really happy and free. 

The parade ended up in government center where there was a big celebration.  I walked around a bit and looked at some of the booths.  Had some chicken fingers :) And people watched.  I ended up walking by the women's block party but it was so crowded I didn't bother.  Since I had my back pack with me I figured the crowd and pack would be ultra annoying. 

So instead I went and met S and P for dinner. 

Overall it was an amazing day and I really enjoyed feeling so free and open. I could walk down the street with beads and rainbows on and not feel like anyone would care ;)

An excellent day


I

Another Hero in the Bag

Today we did "Micheal" hero WOD.  I had meant to look last night to see what it was but didn't so when i woke up I saw this.

Michael (Time)

3 Rounds for time of:
800m Run
50 Back Extensions
50 Sit-ups

Skill Work

15 minutes of Muscle-up practice

I definitely had an OH CRAP moment. My back has been twingy since tuesday.  I think from the dumb bell snatches so I didn't really want to push it.  Cause back stuff is always a long recovery if you do something really stupid.  But of course I went, partially cause I wanted to and partially due to the new policy of charging you if you don't show up.  So I guess there is the motivation for that. The only thing I don't like about the policy is the fact that going to the morning class I sometimes have to decide before I know the workout.  Which is slightly annoying since sometime I may be really wanting to go to CF but really sore in one part of the body, like today.  But I mustered through.  

I did one modification, only 25 back extensions.  Which helped.  I'm definitely really sore in the back but I think its just tired.  So I think "we're good". 

That being said I finished in 30:24....WOOHOO!!!

There was technically a 30 min time cap but I was so close I basically said I'm finishing, and since we still had time in class they let me.  Dance party.  

And for those who are wondering why its called a hero WOD.... here is the story of Micheal.  Now you'll understand :) 

In honor of Navy Lieutenant Michael McGreevy, 30, of Portville, NY, who was killed in Afghanistan June 28.

With heavy hearts we offer our prayers and condolences to his wife, Laura, and 14-month-old daughter, Molly.

The price of freedom, and its worth, is found in Michael�s passing. The debt owed to Michael and his family can never be repaid but only honored by remembering Michael and remaining free.

tababta say what?

Here goes another work out post.  I'm excited cause I haven't done one in awhile.  I mean I've been going but just not talking about it.  I am trying this new thing where I listen to my brain and body and try not force it...in all things, work, social, dating, working out and trying with the food (though the brain and body tend to be at odds for that one.

Anyways what did i do this morning.

Tabata (AMRAP - Reps)

Complete 8 intervals of :20 work followed by :10 rest for each movement. Your score is the total reps of all movements. The movements are...

Row (calories)
KB swings (chest height)
AbMat sit ups
Dumbbell Snatch (alternating each rep)

Post the weights chosen for the swings and DB snatch to comments.

Skill Work

Post WOD practice your handstand push-up and pistols.

1a. Handstand push-up 6x3
1b. Pistols 6x3 each leg

A slight side note.  Lately when I've gone to the morning class I feel as though time either speeds up or slows down... but when we get going I definitely have a moment where it feels like 10 am or something.  Then I have to remind myself "no Terese, its 6:20...you still have your entire day"  Depending on the day this is followed by "ok cool" or "CRAP!"  Lately there has been a lot of craps...because sleep has been a bit elusive but I'm looking forward to tackling sleep and then enjoying the morning. 

So the WOD.  Initially I thought it was kind of dumb, but it was killer.  I ended up doing 229 reps in total.  This was an average 

Row - 5 cals

KB - 10  ( 1 pood ... yellow 16Kg) 

Sit ups - 7 

Snatchs - 6 (25# for all but last 3, 22.5#)

It was pretty cool until my back started to twinge at the end, and then I down graded the weight.  

So i'm pretty pooped, and looking forward to being too sore to walk later..  Booyah. 

Vancouver last days

On day 6 in Vancouver we got up a little late. I mean adult beverages will do that to a girl. I'm completely out of practice on the night scene so it seemed a be rough. Not as rough as the final day in vancouver but still  not my most elegant moment.

Today we decided to go to Victoria park which boasted the heighest point in the city.  It was very pretty.

We walked over from our hotel which was really nice because hey we both like walking, and it was actually across the street from the botanical gardens which we visited before.  So we knew where to go, sort of.  We also passed this tea shop on the way and decided to have high tea on the way home.  Since we were planning on being out late that night.  So after a nice sit and read on a bench.  I swear we should have gotten reading pictures...cause there was a lot.  We had high tea.

Aren't we cute?  

After tea we headed home and got ready for another night on the town, which included a lot of flirty and tasty drinks on my part...so very formative indeed.  

The final day was extrememely relaxed.  We google a place for brunch because we both decided eggs sounded awesome.  And made our way there by bus.  After brunch we headed back to the hotel to figure out what do to, and ended up just walking around by the water for awhile. 

I mean with a day like that how could we not be outside.  We finished off the day with room service and relaxing since we were both dead.... and we were leaving the hotel at 4:30am....damn early flights.  

A most excellent adventure, to quote bill and ted, overall