Pigeon practices Pratyahara

15aug15-16aug15

I went camping. Solo camping to be exact.  And it was great.

But what pray tell is Pratyahara 

Pratyahara (Devanāgarī प्रत्याहार, Tibetan སོ་སོར་སྡུད་པ་, Wylie so sor sdud pa) or the 'withdrawal of the senses' is the fifth element among the Eight stages of Patanjali's Ashtanga Yoga,^[1]  -wiki page

And why would this send me screaming into the woods? Because it's very natural. Everyone weather they choose to pay attention probably has a voice in their head at some point telling them that it's time to reset and renew solo. It's important because how are you ever going to hear what your soul is saying if you don't essentially slow down and shut up.  

So I did. Granted, it was only for one night but I did. And it felt good. I left my phone in the car and ventured into the woods with a flash light, a book and a lot of matches. 

The breakdown was relatively uneventful with only one night but here is some highlights, and learning. 

- You can get a lesson on how to pack from REI but don't try to go on Saturday afternoon

- one of those wood packs from the grocery store is really only enough for 1 night. 

- not bringing chemical fire starters was intentional, but hard to use natural kindling when it rains buckets for 45 min right after you set up the tent 

- your tent is sturdy enough to stay up in a rain storm, even if you set it up wrong. 

- not having something to sit in at the fire is a drag

- sleeping in the woods alone isn't as scary as you think

- rainstorms help you sleep

- you can do it and enjoy the quite with fire and a book 

- it is possible and fun to hike into a site in 1 trip...(and this was packed very poorly) 

So the moral of the story is I want to do it again. And next time I will truly hike in.. Since this time it was 0.6 miles... So still counts, sort of 

Reflections from the mat : Kripalu edition

Reflections on Kripalu 

10JUL15 - 12JUL15 

This past weekend I spent my time at the Kripalu Yoga center in Western Mass. I attended a workshop with Shiva Rea called "Prana Vinyasa Movement Alchemy tending the sacred fire" and in one word it was amazing.  The entire workshop focused on tuning into the tempo of our bodies and looking at the yoga practice through the natural elements.  It was intense and I was able to put my body into places that I didn't know I could go.  I really liked how she related everything back to a visceral feeling and wanted to have balance between the elements, earth, fire, wind and water. 

So all that being said here are some highlights.... In no particular order..... 

One the last day we did I guess you could call a full elemental practice, with components in each element.... During that we did a YOGA KRYIA which felt sort of prayer like. She played music and we closed our eyes and moved from "camel like pose" to fully extended on our bellies or child's pose.  It was so intense to open up my heart that way. And surprisingly doing the "camel like" movements didn't freak me out. I felt liberated. Immediately after we paired up and did partnered forward bending, when you sit back to back with someone and the one person goes into seated forward bend while the other lies on top of them, and it was amazing. 

The afternoon session we decided to have down on the lake, which first of all was really gorgeous.  So we went down in our bathing suits and yoga clothes and had the session. But the amazing part happened at the end. We all went in the water, including Shiva Rea, and did a floating savasana. We grouped up and held each other up in the water. During which we all om ed.  It was really good cool and relaxing in a new way to be floating in a sea of oms in a much more literal way then ever before.  Once we'd all done that we were standing and freezing because well it's Massachusetts... The water never gets hot. And Shiva started "drumming" the water.        https://youtu.be/98Xj_oLkRT4   . we all joined in a circled up. Then we started to chant. Unfortunately I don't remember the Sanskrit (I asked later what it was and it was something to evoke the earth mother goddess ) and we did sort of a round with a Sanskrit chant and "going down to the river to pray" all the while slapping the water.  The collective consciousness was INCREDIBLE.  

I experienced my first "Yoga Trance Dance".  This is admittedly what I had known her for but not really known what it was.  It was all about organic movement, and a different type of movement mediation.  Through dance and freedom and no structure. It took me a while to fully give in, but when I did it was incredible. I thought about the year I've had, and all the fear and anxiety and anger I have experienced and it a certain extend still hold residually.  I realized how long it had been since I felt truly free and I just let go. And dance in the dark with all these other yogis. But of course like any good yoga experience there was a savasana. We laid down wherever we were and blissed out. It was great. 

I was pleasantly surprised with my dormitory experience. All the women were nice and I really connected with a few. And good on Kripalu for sticking us together since we mostly all were in the same workshop. 

I got into the quad stretch version of half pigeon for possibly the first and only time. 

I went way farther in (foot behind head) reclined... Then I ever thought possible. 

The food was amazing. And then had a continual supply of Kitchri.  Though tummy got funny with so much ruffage. 

I realized that you can still have a powerful practice outside the powers tradition. But using the different types of salutations at different types and different purposes you had build a heck of a lot of inner heat. 

I want to learn more about mudras. 

Camp Mystry Hole... the middle days

07Jun15-13Jun15

Day 3 - or climbing day 2 - or Pigeon takes flight

Today marked another day of climbing.  We were early up and going and made our way to a camp ground.  It was rainy so today we practiced on a bouldering wall (climbing lower routes... no rope) and learned around rappelling...which came in handy since we did it later that day.  I think if I was a bit more sure of myself I would like bouldering more. This wall was just hard but we practiced individual moves at the bottom. This made it possible to learn a few positions without worrying what comes next.

Case in point I learned to flag.

We hung out at this camp ground through lunch. Which was fun and pretty relaxing. And not too wet. All good things.

After that I think the words "we have a surprise" were used and we were off.  Today was a bit nerve wracking for the rest of the day. The surprise was a swing (video coming) climbing thing... Which looked scary, was f-ing scary but so happy I did it. And rappelling (spoiler 1st of 3)...  Eeek. My group went to repell first. So we actually had to hike back out of where we were and up on top of the cliff the swing was attached to. Smart guides, things were really close together but split up groups made things move without too much waiting. Though I'll say maybe me going last of the participants in my group was maybe waiting too much. Anyway... 

The repell was scary, I'm talking really scary.  This one was over a lip with shrubs. So you really had no chance to see anything, at all. There were some tears, and a lot of swears. But the guides Danger and Black Snake talked me through it well.  This first time I was able to lower to my knees to go over, which felt more controlled. And long story short. I did it... I didn't need the back up rope (otherwise characterized as as not dropping myself) and I only got attacked by 1 tree on the way down. Which coincidently we all discussed getting attacked by.  It was a mix of free hanging and walking down the wall. And I did it..woohoo!!! 

Once I was down there was a small matter of getting back to the group, because there was no one around...  Initially I couldn't see a path, so I put my big girl pants on and said... I'll bushcwack this way until I find something.  Me being a nervous and novice bushwacker... It was very quickly clear that I was wrong. So fortunatly Man Salmon came down about then and found the correct path.... Allowing  me to make it back to the group without completing my shrub adventure. 

Then it was on to the swing. 

This thing was the sort of thing that I would have 100% completely avoided in other situations. But actually now that I'm saying this I also probably would have avoided the rappelling too, so never mind.  And from that the video really says it all...

Do you think I had too much fun? 

Day 4 - Pigeon swims? 

Today was our climbing rest day. Buy you know you're with a special group of people when our rest day involved white water rafting... So it was different muscles, but still musles. 

First we had an actual slow morning to explore Fayitville. We walked around the town. Got a cup of coffee at the local shop and had lunch in the town square.  It was pretty nice. 

After lunch we made our way to the rafting place. Overall it was a really good experience though the head guide guy was an ass... A big ass. Anyway, once we got all the particulars squared away, changed and loaded up with paddles and vests,  we took a bus to meet our guides.  This was yet another thing I was nervous about but our guide was really good. She was calm and clear and though each rapid made me nervous I was in the back and could hear well.  And I stayed in the boat in all the important moments. Happy to have Drapper as my across the seat buddy. One cool thing we got to do was swim the smaller Rapids... Which actually helped a lot with the comfort level... Also helped cause it was really warm. It was a different experience getting in and floating down a rapid... But wicked fun. Also it was fun watching Man salmon and Pedro goofing around in kayaks. 

I was pretty spent after that from tensing my legs a lot to stay in, but I did enjoy it and wouldn't say no to doing it again. 

My boat 

The whole crew 

Pigeon is born... As is camp mystery hole

07jun15 - 13jun15

Last week marked a momentous week. I went on my very first First Descents(FD1) trip. For those new to the program FD is :

First Descents offers young adult cancer fighters and survivors a free outdoor adventure experience designed to empower them to climb, paddle and surf beyond their diagnosis, defy their cancer, reclaim their lives and connect with others doing the same. (Firstdescents.org) 

Which is truly an awesome thing and I am so glad I got to go and hang out with an unbelievably cool group of people for a week.  

We spent a week outside, climbing rocks, swinging, rafting and having really tasty sunset porch dinners in the New River Gorge, West Virginia.  It was so relaxing and invigorating I can't wait for more adventures... The world is officially my oyster. 

Day 1 - Travel and arrival 

The travel was easy. I was able to sleep on the first flight, which was good since it was at 6am. Passed my long layover and made it to Charleston, WV without and issue. And my bag made it too!  

In the baggage claim I met up with 4 of

the 8 participants and 1 of the volunteers.  (Apologize in advance for any name botching) who will always be known as Sporty, sunshine, katniss , Cheena and Navigator. We loaded up and drove the ~90min to the New River Gorge area. This day was a rest, get to know ya day. We got settled, and ready for the week, which included meeting the rest of the crew... Dodger, Draper, Cheeta, Princess, Doogie, Pedro, Lamb Chop, Lil D, Grasshoppa, Furiosa and Man Salmon. The coolest thing was all of us sitting on the grass silently watching the sun dip below the horizon.  

Maybe not the correct day, but we had some amazing sunsets.... After that it was off to bed for an early up and at um. 

I didn't mention the owner of the lodge had a thing for taxadermey 

Day 2. - climbing day 1

We rose early or early - ish. It being when I usually get up anyway. Oops.  Had an amazing breakfast and loaded into cars. We met the guides in Downtown Fayitville (not how that's spelled) and got al Kyle legal particulars. The town is actually pretty cute. 

At least I look the part 

Then it was off for a day climbing. The two we started with today involved climbing a crack (next to a poison ivy bush) which as far as I know didn't actually get anyone. And the climbing a chimney - ish thing.   I did the crack first and had a lot of help. But that's ok, still made it up. And started to learned about leaning away from the hold to get tension. Side note: hand jams don't feel good.  The chimney was different... Considering all the gyms I'd been to in my limited experience I had never done anything like that. And I wasn't a big door climber as a child. But it was cool. Once I got the idea that is. *little did I know this would come in handy later* 

(Side ways of crack ) 

Because of park ranger rules we had to split the group. So we reunited for lunch on some rocks in the parking lot, under the bridge.

Our second location was ways different. It was much more wall - ish. Sandstone and had a lot of crimpy small holds. Interesting observation...crimpy holds in nature were easier than crimpy in the gym... Though still not easy. Odd right? 

One of many try hard faces :) 

Anyway we finished the day over there and tired loaded up for the return trip, relaxing, dinner and bed again. 

Cancer friends

28MAR15

Who are on the way to being just friends. 

This weekend was the Young adult Conference at Dana Farber and the first meeting of the Boston tribe for First Descents. So it was a sort of cancer filled weekend. I say that I realize it sounds completely odd to put on paper but the other awesome part about it was that it was an extremely positive weekend or actually long day. 

The day started somewhat early with a drive over to Dana Farber. I registered and got my stuff, and found a buddy from group.  It was really fun to see a number of people that I knew and had chatted with so it felt a little like a reunion... Since we all don't make it to every group.  The day started with a key note speaker and then it had 2 breakout sessions. 

The first session I went to was about mindfulness and mediation. This isn't exactly a new topic for me because of all the yoga action but it was interesting in this context. And realizing / being reminded how much time we spend thinking ahead to things and how trying to predict good or bad isn't the best way to go. Which I agree with and it's always a good thing to have my attention brought back to.  We did some walking and seated mediation. And it was nice. 

We then got a complementary lunch, which was delicious. And songs from a group from Berkely College of Music. Which meant there was a lot of really interesting arrangements of pop songs to  violin and gutair. We also pushed a bunch of tables together and had a good visit talking about everyday and cancer related thing.  It was so cool to talk to awesome people and have it feel normal.  It was like we were kids at school. 

After lunch we listened the couple that started the Andruizzi foundation, who also is a former Patriots player (pretty neat) he battled cancer and then started this foundation to help people pay bills during and after treatment.  

The final seminar was about dealing with uncertainty. And it was an ok seminar.  I felt that because the panelist were all in similar stages of their cancer experience it maybe focused a lot of the medical aspects of uncertainty, and didn't do a lot to assuage my fears. In fact the discussion made me more nervous. But it was still a good topic. In general, I could have appreciated a Better focus on the topic. 

After the conference I hoped in the car and drove up to Nahat. Nahat for those playing the distance game is an island on the north shore. 

Next to the beach.  The event was the first Tribe Event for the Boston First Decents group. 

FD is a group that runs trips for young adult cancer patients and survivors. And they send people to do adventure stuff, rock climbing, surfing, kayaking. For a week. This group is an off shoot of that, and they are trying to get more stuff going in the Boston area. 

The people I met there were REALLY awesome and it was so great to meet se other peps like me, that are doing there thing and dealing with cancer. And being awesome. A number of the awesome people from Dana farber were there. And it was amazing to talk to people in a house, and not a hospital setting.  It ended up being a really long day but the sign of a long day is you only notice how tired you are until you get in. The car. 

That's what happened, so I boogied home, had a final date with my couch and called it a night. 

Puerto Rico weekend

16jan15-19jan15

What a weekend. For the 2015 MLK weekend extra long weekend I met Andrea, Christina and Allicia in San Juan PR for some wonderful beach relaxation. And that's exactly what happened. 

The travel overall was long and for the most part uneventful. Though I have to say I think I'm getting to old for long layovers unless we're talking a HUGE price difference. I spent close to 5hrs together in the Phillidelphia airport. It was boring. And like I said uneventful. But I really could have enjoyed a direct flight. Live you learn! 

Our Airbnb was super cute. I had to get there via cab late at night, which was interesting. Cabbies are very vigorous in their driving. But we were in the top apt so we had a roof deck. It was soooo nice. And so relaxing. We spent a large chunk of every night chatting on the roof, staying up later then I think anyone intended to.  And that's the great part of vacations.... It doesn't matter. 

Our neighboorhood ended up being amazing. With lots of cute cafés and the public beach 5 minutes away. 

One day we went to a different beach to the east. It was nice there cause there was less waves. And it was only about an hr away.  And we went to old San Juan one evening. Which was also interesting because we came on the weekend of the last festival of the Christmas season, and though I never made it to New Orleans for Marci gras, it sort of felt that it could be similar. Let's just say we caught a cab at 9pm. 

Overall it was extremely relaxing and fun to just hang with the girls, and be in a swim suit. 

Sequoia National Park in pictures

Some pictures of the forest

Two years

07dec13

Another year has gone by since my life was changed forever, and it's been a great year. I decided last year that every December 7th I'm going to do something special and celebrate life and the happiness that I have, that even though bad shit happened, I'm still hear and still doing my thing. 

This year I spent some time in the natural world. Ben and Daniel and I discussed possible hiking locations. We settled on Dogtown in Gloucester. 

So Saturday started relatively early, got but and pack up lots of snacks and water and bundled up, and made my way to Bens. I will first day thank you GOD the weather report was wrong. It was likely supposed to snow, and though it was still pretty cold, it was bright and sunny. 

After meeting up we drove up to Gloucester to meet Daniel for brunch.. Cause who doesn't love brunch, I mean really. 

We went to George's. 

http://www.udine4less.com/georgescoffeeshop/

It was quite tasty and very cute. And we had a very chatty waitress that reminded me of when I was doing the breakfast crowd on Sundays at cabots. High schoolers are so fun to talk to, sometimes. 

We fueled up and made our way to Dogtown. It was very pretty and really quite there. There was a few big climbing boulders scattered around the area and they also had some words scattered around. 

First we found a reservoir. I love water so that was awesome. 

It was gorgeous. And there was a big boulder that we climbed up. 

The rest of the area was wooded. And had fun boulders. I climbed one. Which was fun, but a little scary coming down. 

The rock carvings were cool too! 

And kind of random

The mandatory tree pose infront if this one. This was the second boulder the boys climbed. I did not because I had a feeling even if I got to the top, climbing up that crack you can see in the picture, getting down would have been a bit of a spaz attack. 

We got back to the cars just as it got really dark.  And we made our way back to Cambridge. It was a relaxing rest of the day. 

We were going to watch Silence of the lambs... But that didn't happen because it wasn't on netflix streaming. 

We had the most random dinner I've had in awhile 

And dozed / watched the Glatiator :) 

All in all another great dec 7 

Wanderlust Austin day 0... The travel to day

07nov2013

Today began my second yoga adventure to wanderlust. I've been looking forward to it for awhile because... How to put this... Mama needs a vacation. So now that it's finally time I'm ready to get this party started.

The first thing I did, which is very atypical for me ( and the HOLMs in general ) I didn't book flights at stupid times, typically I leave at the crack of dawn, or after a full day of work. This time I poet not to do that. I had plenty of vacation so why not be relaxed about the whole thing. So this morning I had a nice leisurely morning in Newton before dad dropped me at te airport around 10. 

Checking in, getting through security, and waiting were uneventful. And then the VERY full flight started and I did something that I never do, I actually had a really nice conversation with the women sitting next to me. Usually I am the person who plops down, scowls and proceeds to read or whatever. But lately I've been thinking my "don't fuck with me" attitude isn't serving me well. So I'm trying to change... What better chance to practice then traveling in Texas... Where people are nicer anyway. 

So that will be my goal for the weekend. Stick self out there and see what happens. 

The rest of the travel was more typical...including a very cozy middle seat experience... Joy. 

I checked into the hotel, which woo hoo! Is really nice and went to dinner at ironworks. I got the recommendAtion from the people at the hotel. It was tasty. 

http://www.ironworksbbq.com/restaurant-menu.asp

And I finished the day watching Big Bang theory.  

Tomorrow lots of yoga