The day I taught two yoga classes

17jul14 

A little while a go I  offically made it on the the substitute teacher list at prana power yoga. Woo! That was exciting and then it was just trying to get up enough nerve to sub a class. Which actually took some nerve. I mean you have the power, but to know that you can actually use it and try and teach real people who won't know that you graduated teacher training 3 months early. Yikes!!!! Excited but scary. 

Anyways I woke early and made my way to prana newton. I wanted to be awake long enough that I'd be decently chipper by 6am.  I had a good group. I noticed I tend to repeat the same word a lot while teaching. In this case it was begin. I just kept saying it... Like I couldn't help it. But otherwise I was pretty happy with the class. 

I continued on with my day and around 4pm got the call to teach the 730 in Cambridge. I was already going to be there anyway to assist so teaching was an added bonus.  The second time was even better. I didn't forget to teach bridge (note to self... If you miss bridge,  don't try to put it after pigeon, doesn't work) and I fit in more stuff in a better amount of time. 

Overall it was a really awesome time, and I'm really glad I tore the bandage off and started teaching 

First yoga community class

27apr14

I taught my first full 90 min flow at Prana Power yoga in Winchester on Sunday.  To conserve my energy I spent literally the entire early part of the day on the couch, and surprisingly relaxed.  I came to the realization this weekend that even my original version of cutting back wasn't going to cut it, in terms of where my body is at.... So to be on the safe side couch it was. 

I knew the nerves would hit eventually, which they did on the Way over.  Not surprised and spent the car ride breathing. Fortunately because I didn't have a key I had to get there really early, so that stress was gone.  I chilled out on the curb waiting till I could get in. And then I made sure I was situated with the computer and stuff. 

Checking people in went pretty good, especially since I knew 4 of the 8 people that came. And there wasn't really a rush on things. I got the door shut and made my way to class. 

I changed the first half of class a bit, which was scary but fun.  I started them in child's pose which is how I like to start,  a good thing about teaching irregularly...you don't feel as repetitive. I also changed up the crescent twist portion, bringing in revolved half moon and standing leg split.  The two funny things that happened in the first half were I actually noticed when I said chatturunga instead of uttcatasana, which apparently has happened before but I had never noticed.  The second one was that I cued for everyone to take a high twist before going into crescent lung and literally one person actually did it. I was extremely glad for that because otherwise I probably would have thought I didn't say it.  So if helped to know that at least I said what I intended. And hey, apparently people really don't listen to you while teaching. 

The second half was more vanilla flow. The funny thing that happened there was I had sort of a ton of time left (an indication I could have probably held things longer) when I got pretty near the end of the flow that we learned.  So what did I do, held a really long half pigeon and added the quad stretch, cued supported fish.... Because who doesn't love it.  And did a whole 10 min savasana. Which of course meant I could assist everyone.   I'd say overall a win.  

I'd say I'm mainly excited that I got one down. Woot woot. And I also realized something else. I can time holds out by assisting. That way I'll be more likely to be balanced on both sides... Cause there is nothing more annoying then when one side is held longer then the other.  

Overall so excited to teach again, and looking forward to improving my skills.!

Life reflects yoga and yoga reflects life

It's sort of amazing how the crap that I deal with on a regular basis comes up in my yoga, and teaching yoga. It's sort of amazing how connected the internal body is to the rest of the world. In some ways it's actually a little creepy sometimes, but creepy good. 

So something I've been struggling with lately is simply put pinging on peoples radar. I spent so long trying to not get noticed even though I know I was, so now actively doing things to get noticed is scary and uncomfortable. And sometimes you ping on the radar in an undesired way.  Be it good or bad. It's hard to go from being someone that was actively trying not to be noticed to someone who is standing proud and tall and saying here I am. And that person (me) is a bit scared of it. It's sort of amusing that one of the main catalysts for being willing to stick out more was getting cancer again. I mean talk about needing an extra push out of the comfort nest. I mean seriously, but I guess that sort of falls under the everything happens for a reason and the universe only gives what we can handle. So I am aware now that maybe this happened to catalyze my person growth.  I must be meant for something great.  I mean really, why else would I be forced to deal with this stuff in such an up close and personal way. 

Anyway I digress, so one of the main reasons I was afraid to ping on people's radars was I was afraid that I wouldn't be enough. Whatever enough even means, and I realize now that enough is different for everyone... Huh if only my 14 yr old self knew that one.  I had an irrational fear. That still lingers, trust me it's a work in progress, that whatever I offered would be deemed unworthy.  

Now comes the yoga teaching. Standing at almost the finally of teacher training there has definitely been some anxiety over what happens next and will I be good enough, can I actually do this in front of people. Who knows? The realization came this weekend that yes I am good enough, but also that still doesn't mean that everyone will like what I have to offer. Everyone wants something different from yoga and all teachers have something different to offer. I mean that's why naming one favorite teacher is actually hard because I go to differnt people for differnt things. So the fact that there will be people out there that don't like what or how I teach and that it has no reflection on me, is sort of mind altering. I mean still scary cause rejection is never pleasant.... Who we kidding, but the fact that people can take or leave me, my yoga, my teaching, my self and it is not an assessment on me, but on them or how we connect at that particular time is an idea I really can clinge to.  The fear may always be there, but if I focus on not making it, whatever sort of interaction it is, not about my self worth or personage and about where the other person is at.... That is crazy and amazing and scary... And awesome

Yoga teacher training wk 9

04apr14-06apr14

I can't believe that it's almost over. I mean it's been going on for a long time and I can't believe that I will be a "graduated" yoga teacher in another week. I mean crazy.  I don't feel ready, and I know I'm going to have to dive in and continue to practice and learn. But it's so weird to think I'm going to be teaching real people in real classes really soon. YIKES!!! 

So of course with the impending end of training what does that mean for training weekend, oh you guessed it. LOTS of practice teaching.  Apparently they started teaching the flow in chunks but going all the way through so that's cool. Friday we went through more anatomy and modifications for injuries. Which is really important because you need to know how go keep people safe in your class. It always ok to say you don't know but the more that you know the better off you'll be. 

Saturday brought teaching in chunks. The cool thing about this method is that I got to teach twice in one day. Which of course was stressful but fun too, twice the practice in the same day.   I noticed a big difference between the two times. I wouldn't say that either were great, but it brought up different things. Mainly I notice a big difference when I'm not grounded. Which is a really good thing to know. I think I'm at the point now where I need to notice what makes things feel off so that I can work to change that the next time. I mean certain times you are going to be off but it's good to know what that feels like. 

Sunday was a bit of a mishmash of things. We started off with a meditation. Which was nice, the more practice with those the easier it is. Did some practice teaching, I had to do the damn triangle series again. I think my main problem is I find the whole thing kind of awkward. I mean it starts off ok and then goes in an order that seems extremely unnatural to me. The one major good thing about that is I know it is weird to others cause when we first were learning it then other teachers had trouble explaining it how it's written in the manual.  So I know it's not just me. 

After we were done a few of us went to Masa for dinner. Yummy food and really great company. And as if we really didn't want it to end, there may have been a return to prana for the community class. Oh yeh... It happens... Yoga forever, and Mondays suck so let's avoid it as long as possible. 

It was an amazing and long weekend. 

Yoga teacher training week 7

21march14 - 23march14

Another amazing weekend at teacher training. It's sort of great to have this built in mega distraction during the cancer times especially because it keeps me from stewing. I do enough of that at work, so it's really great to focus on something positive and time consuming for the weekend. And of course the company was great too. 

So Friday was restorative yoga day. I knew it would be awesome, because restorative yoga is awesome, and any time they tell you to bring blankets (plural) you know there is some relaxation stuff in store. This was even better because Michelle went into kind a of the philoshy of restorative and yin yoga. Both of which I like, and now like even more.  We got each other into this REALLY supported savasana. Which was amazing. I had had such a pent up week that getting a few minutes to completely let my guard down and be completely supported was amazing. Michelle also showed us how to do some of it to ourselves.  That is totally going to happen. Just saying. 

Saturday actually started off with me practice teaching, literally cause I went first. We started at the balance portion of the flow and went through boat. It was odd starting in the middle, and of course my worst critic (me) though it was choppy. But I got good feedback and the best being the silence. I really like silence in my class or while I practice, I like music too but I guess you could say not talking. So though it felt huge and expansive people said it was a good amount.  So that is something I'll just have to get used to.  Also I did a few assists while teaching , and it was great! 

The rest of the day was exsausting in many ways. Least of all because I did a LOT of locust poses. Backbends are great but I definitely started to feel it in my low back by the end of the day. 

Sunday was anatomy, and assisting.  After having a discussion with some people I realize the importance of anatomy in yoga. Not necessarily with the cueing but good for when people ask about stuff or when offering modifications.  Which in my mind is vital. And assisting was really fun, duh. It was fun to get assisted more and of course to see the other trainees begin to become more confident.  It was really good and I think it will be fun to work with especially while teaching all the end of class poses. And it wouldn't be an assistant training if yet another picture of my butt wasn't created. But it was and it's awesome. 

After we were done we went to mAsanto hang for a little while. Before I went to trader joes and cvs to stock up a bit for the upcoming on slot.  

Extremely sleepy but and excellent weekend. 

Prana power yoga teacher training wk 5

07march14 - 09march14

This weekend officially marked the half way point of teacher training. It's so weird to think that I've been doing teacher training for over a month. It definitely doesn't feel like it, and it's been quite the ride.  I feel like I've realized a lot of stuff about myself, and I've started to notice a difference about how I want to relate to the world. It's pretty cool to think that even a slight shift makes a big difference overall. 

On a different note, other than recooping from surgery all week, I also gave up soda this week. Which was not super hard, but enough. Especially since I spent the majority of the week with the parentals which is also diet coke central. But it's been one week and counting. 

So teacher training came again, and I was a bit nervous cause I was still taking the good drugs up until Thursday. So I knew I was still pretty sore. So I was a bit concerned about if we had a practice heavy weekend. As it turns out we didn't so it all worked out. 

Friday we practice taught and I finally got to teach again. Thank god! I was starting to get really antsy about it because it had been about a month. So I really wanted to try and do it again. It went ok overall. The antsiness definitely came through, and I felt like I was extremely chatty while teaching. And apparently I mixed up chatturunga and uttcatasana, which I didn't notice until it was mentioned after. I need to work on letting my voice have some space. As a practitioner I like a quieter class so I think I want to try to get to a quieter point. It's all practice and I definitely need to focus on keeping it simple. That will be the way to go. 

Saturday brought a very long and in depth discussion in anatomy.  I like anatomy, it's very logical. I mean after two semesters of anatomy and physiology and one of exercise physiology I do know a few things. But it was interesting to think about it or start to think about it in relation to yoga poses. I mean we just started the discussion but it's extremely helpful to know how the body works and moves and I know it will help my teaching. The good thing is that I think it's less important to know the terminology but knowing how to discribe what body part does what in what pose will completely enhance my teaching. More studying will have to happen.  

Sunday we discussed the yoga sutras and pranayama.  I have heard some of the stuff about the sutras before but there where knew things as well. I really liked the concept of tapas, which is basically the act of creating discipline.  For right now I'll keep with no soda, until it comes easier, but the idea is always to be working on something that is hard and requires discipline.  It's pretty cool to think about, but I feel like more reading will help to clarify a few things. 

After we were done and bunch of us went to masa for drinks. It was fun to relax in a different setting and not have a five or ten minute period to chat. 

A quick trip to trader joes and relaxing at home. Another great weekend.