Thursday, November 26, 2015


I've had a lot going on lately. But today, the day of thanksgiving I want to slow down, and think of gratitude. What brings me happiness, joy, and thanks. 

People sometimes throw the word gratitude around willy nilly. Like you are a bad person if you're not greatful. But to me I feel that it is something to be earned. Like with any feeling you need to work through both the Ying and the Yang, the good and the bad to appreciate it. Or at least in my opinion. That is how I feel. And I have worked through a lot. Coming out more appreciative, happier, stronger and more sure of why I am why I am... And what I want my life to mean. 

I have never really been an advocate for saying cancer was a good thing. But it was a thing. And it is part, an integral part, of my story. Lately I've been thinking about the person I've become. And the person in trying to become by changing my situation. I mean because of cancer I have had a very different four years then the four years I imagined I would have even 5 years ago. I had to give up a lot, but I've gained a lot. A major thing that I've gained is an appreciation for my life. Truly. Someone I met through cancer posted recently how luck we are to live in a place that has such good  medical services and where the norm is to get something checked out before it becomes a huge problem. And it's easy to forget that there are people out there that don't go to the doctors until they are incapacitated. Which in the case of cancer is almost always too late. So for that I'm thankful. 

Additionally and sort of in hand with the cancer is feeling so good about what I'm doing to make myself happy in the future. I am actively creating my future as a nurse and I feel so amazingly good about it. It's been a hard couple of months balancing school, applications and work, but it will be worth it. I feel more sure about school, more sure about my opinions and the most survive ever felt about the path forward. 

Finally I'm thankful and grateful for love. The fact that I am able to love people out there fiercely and know that I am loved fiercely. It's an amazing feeling and I'm happy to have it. 

And though it's always nice to sum up you're feelings and stuff. I want to leave off with one word... Ok a few but you get the idea. 

Be greatful everyday

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