Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Funky monkey

I've been in a funk lately..thought i'd share.  I had more umph but now i just want to go to bed.  More later.

watch this movie on netflicks streaming. .... its pretty awesome

and really powerful.  Yoga never stops amazing me

I'm also waiting for this movie to show up on netflicks because it looks AWESOME!!!

Monday, January 28, 2013

Cooking and painting

I had a really productive and fun Sunday.  I started because I got up kind of annouyingly early by making one of my meal preps for the week.

Paleo Chili
I actually haven't even tasted it yet so I hope its good.  It definitely looked and smelled promising.
Ingredients are
Ground Beef
Onions
Scallions
Carrots
Collard Greens
Spinach
Mushrooms
one hot pepper
Caned tomato puree for the broth
and i think that's  - i included some cracked pepper, spicy salt, paprika.

I hope I like it.

Once that got going I got ready for an AOPI Fundraiser thing at the Paint Bar in Newtonville. It was really fun to hang out with the girls and we got to paint.  Which the artsy part of me really liked.  And it was guided enough that it came out pretty good in my opinion.  It was sort of guided paint by numbers.  But the canvas was blank when I started and I did the whole thing myself.

I did get the mother of all hot flashes so thought i was going to pass out briefly.  That was fun.  I didn't bet it was unpleasant.  The only downfall...it wasn't quick.  We were there for almost 3 hrs. But worth it I think.

When I finally got home I made my other meal prep for the week.  Pictured above.  Crustless paleo quiche.   It was taken from Paleo Comfort Foods cook book.  And this I did have this morning.  It was tasty.

all in all an excellent Sunday.



Saturday, January 26, 2013

Smaterday

Ok bad title. But I really don't know how to start. It's been an interesting time... And by interesting I mean sucky. Though today feels like the energy may be shifting slowly. I actually was talking to my yogi friend yesterday about what's been going on and she said basically she agreed that there was a shift of energy 2 wks ago and now we are all dealing with consequences.

It does make sense. I am a strong believer that everything is connected and therefor the shit hitting the fan has had an effect on everyone.

The last two days have been ok. In dealing with morfies. Death I have done a good amount of yoga. Yesterday was great because my buddy A was back for my assisting class. Which I loved of course since we are very connected. I also had a bunch of yogi buddies in my class. Today L and I went to a yoga class at spirit bear yoga in natick. It was a yoga for runners class with the infamous KT :) it was really good and good to get some tips on things to do before during and after a run.

The only really frustrating thing was I figured out how I Hurt myself. It's at crossfit but I couldn't identify the motion. And the one I initially thought didn't make sense. It was bent over rows.. Someone got a bit ambitious. Now I have to be nice to it. Cause basically everything aggregates it... Damn it. But I'm being good... Sort of the yoga was probably stupid.

In realizing that I also made the hard decision to hold my crossfit membership until after the race. I keep getting sick or hurting myself and need to focus on my running. Ill miss crossfit but there are only so many days in the week. So it's probably for the best.

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Crazy work out

I didn't mention. I did a WOD while doing the bowel prep. If wasn't bad because there was no metabolic conditioning. So I figured I'd give it a go. I don't remember all the details but I managed

24 in box jumps 5 x 5
125 lbs of 20 rep max back sq.

The best part a out that is I was only 3 lbs lower then my previous 20 rep max.

Crazy right ?

Nasty girls

As much as I want to be vindictive I can't make myself actually commit to being. It's actually ironic cause I want to wish people that are mean to me ill will but I really can't get any umph behind it. I don't consider myself a doormat, or at least way less of one then I used to be, but its still feels like I act that way. Which isn't good necessarily. But I guess it's not bad. I. Guess that means I don't hold a grudge... Which I don't... So good :)

In other news the colonoscopy went well. For those that have had them, it was uneventful, for those that haven't you aren't missing Anything! Trust me. Since then I've bed. Trying to get my system back on track. I initially wasn't really hungry. Maybe owed to the Zofrain that I got . But yesterday and someone today I've bed. Really munchie which isn't great. I did pretty good sticking to my guns, but had a little slip at CVS. I blame it on getting too hungry.

Acupuncture also helped realign things a bit but didn't help with sleep. Of the liter of water I had at 9 pm didn't help either. I really shouldn't try to hold it... It never ends well meaning I just don't sleep... The eye bags are epic today.

Two more days til the weekend

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Getting better

So this has been a LONG ass week.  With every mixed emotions, some liquor, some ice cream and more tears then I've had in awhile.  I am doing much better though.  I definitely sort of reached my limit yesterday with the liquor and officially over did it.  Not ridiculously but since I'm such a freakish light weight it doesn't take much  to go over the edge.  I woke up today with a decent sized head ache.  So mission accomplished.  And now I feel like I'm good in that department for awhile.  Ironically I feel like the colonoscopy I'm having on Tuesday is really going to be a good reset of things.   And get me back on track.  And I know enough about nutrition to know that getting back on track will help the emotions as well.

So the last few days have been interesting.  I was able to get back to crossfit, which I think I mentioned on thursday so that was awesome.  I felt so good rocking the workout and realizing that hey...I'm good at Olympic weight lifting.  Who knew?

Friday was a blah day at work and I knew after the week of up and downs that I needed a lot of yoga.  So I took an extra class.  And the funny thing is...other then being COMPLETELY exhausted from being in the yoga studio from 5:15 to ~ 9:30.  I felt AWESOME.  So of my buddies from assistant training came to the later class so it was good to catch up with them.  I sort of love yoga.  Cause no matter what sort of place you're in there is always something for you.  I usually take a class before I assist because to put it technically...it helps get the antsys out.  But the class after was all about me.  I  love that yoga, if you let it, gives you the power to get into your body in a really physical yet emotional way.  It sort of never ceases to amaze me.  And the wonderful energy of the instructors of course doesn't hurt.  I love that its almost karmic.  When i go to yoga in a bad head space the teacher inevitably waxes on about EXACTLY what I need to hear.  Its always a similar message but sometimes you just need to hear it out loud.  And I am always thankful to have something that gives me that ability.

Saturday was also a wonderful day.  I'm making a point to try and stay relatively busy and out of the house....cause that also help with the emotions.  IF you're on the move then its harder to dwell.  Granted the thoughts are always there but its not so stagnant.  Anyways.   I digress.   I met my friend D, who writes at CFCF.com for coffee in Newton (or tea in my case).  I love chatting with her and her energy...helps that she is also a crossfit enthusiast as well.  

After that I made my way to the parentals...and out for a run.  I am getting back into the training, since I only have a month left.  YIKES!! I'm excited to go to disney but I'll sort of be happy when its over cause this end wrap up bit its sort of stressing me out. As much as I try to not let it.  I managed to get an hour in of out on the trails.  I wanted to do 5 miles but did ~4.5.  So not too bad. Still pretty freaking slow.  There was a lot of intervals and walking.  Which is definitely going to happen race day, but I'd like to get up so I can at least do the first half in a row.  We'll see.  I ended my run at prana in Newton...initially thinking I would just say hi to my friend K who was teaching. But then I decided to stay.  Once again...yoga delivered a excellent time.  And she knew in whatever way that she needed to wax on about self love.  And letting go.  I left feeling refreshed and lighted and super glad I went....and SORE.  I love being sore :)

That night   I took my mom to the BSO for her birthday.  We saw the VERDI requiem.  Which was awesome.  It had a really good bassoon part.  Yes even if I don't play any more I'm still going to love the bassoon.   For those that are unfamiliar you may have heard this part of it. 


It was an excellent performance except symphony hall was FREAKISHLY HOT.  I was glad I didn't put the extra layer that I'd brought with me to my parents house on.  Cause I may have passed out.

The only downfall of the day was my mothers reaction when I told her about the breakup.  I sort of expected it but still wasn't that nice.  She's inching toward acceptance but not doing a great job with it.

Then i came home and had two glasses of wine....which is basically one and a half too many.  But whatever...Starting tuesday or technically monday...since i can't eat monday.  Back on the band wagon :)

Oh almost forgot ..... thinking about getting a tattoo...thoughts? 

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Realization

I just realized that I got broken up with 1 day before my 1 year chemo anniversary. So that date still sucks

Om

I got a new bracelet to go with my T bracelet. I'm excited



I know I know

Ok so I did something stupid. I fully admit it. I've also decided in doing this stupid thing I'm going to post videos occasionally. Though I can't do it on my phone. Ill have to get back to you, on that one.

It's been quite the day. I woke up in a funk. It didn't help that I went to bed a little tipsy. Help with the sleeping but I still woke up before my alarm ~5:30. When I was acupuncture yesterday the student mentioned that waking up at certain times of night could indicate a certain deficiency or something. But it definitely indicates something with different organs depending on when you wake up. Interesting right?

Anyway, I just woke up feeling icky mentally and just haven't wanted to get up this week. But anyway I did.

Again my breakfast made me nauseous. What the fuck. It's hard to know what's going on because I have so many GI issues and especially this week things have just been out of wack.

Oh another thing... Ok this is going to be an Add post... So I took a break and almost forgot where I was going. Just that when I told the acupuncture people that I thought I was getting sick and they I'd had an emotional week they just said " well that makes sense, your emotions are rising in your body and messing up the rest of your organs" I love Chinese medicine.

Anyways continuing on. Work was blah for the most part. I had a nice lunch outside of work with A and M. It was always nice to get away from the office. The main annoyance had to do with nstar shutting off the gas without warning. But it worked out and I had a good excuses to leave work a smig early so can't complain too much.

I had a nice relax at home... And felt pretty good at that point. Had dinner of Campbell's and treated myself to a flour cupcake. Ironically was not as impressed as the hype made me think.

Then I went to crossfit... Woohoo. It had been almost 3 weeks cause I was sick.

The strength was
5 rounds of
2 front sq and 1 split jerk. - I got up to 100.5lbs which was awesome and felt really good. I love exercise because it completely clears my brain and makes me feel really good. Unfortunately I feel yucky immediately upon leaving the gym . Not helped that I usually called K on the way home. It will be hard to not feel funny not doing that. But I'll get over it.

The metcon was
AMRAP 8
750 m row
40 over the bar burpees
ME thrusters

I didn't get to the thrusters but I did make it through all the burpees so yay me. Also I think I may get wrist wraps. The coach let me try hers and I really liked how they felt and you feel like a bad ass wearing them. So that's a bonus as well :) rogue fitness. Com here I come.

Now I'm enjoying project runway all stars season finale. And a glass of wine. I need to just Shut off my brain these days at the end of the day... Cause it's the worst when I am at home. So wine helps... Don't worry I'll cut myself off next week.. Just need to get some sleep... However I can.

Otherwise I will get sick.

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Finally

Finally in bed before 10. Thank you acupuncture and white wine. I'm ready to sleep.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Sooooo

So I'm about to admit to being a little bit of a freak. The first reason has to do with the fact that I'm extremely sentimental, which generally serves me pretty well, except post break up. Then literally everything and I mean everything has meaning. Let me tell you what I mean. I went to whole foods on the way back from sittering for my grandfather and I wanted to get see if they had frozen Brusselsprouts. A simple thing which they didn't have but I had to leave the God damn frozen isle because I started to get sad. I mean seriously. It made me feel a little stupid that I was getting mushy about frozen food but there it is. I did.

I still think being that sentimental is a good thing but it definitely opens me up to hurt. I quite readily and willingly invest a lot into dating someone and that does not always pay off for whatever reason. That is who I am to the core so I won't ever truly change but it is good to know that in advance.

Monday, January 14, 2013

New mantra

So the tone of the last few posts has probably made it VERY obvious that something is up.  I'm finally willing to say it out loud...cause it basically took me a day to realize it was real. 

I've been dumbed.  See everything makes sense now.  K broke up with me on Saturday...there is no mutal parting.  I feel a bit like a horse trampled me.  I'm working through it and should be thankful that it took until I was 30 before this sort of thing happened, but consequently I feel like I'm about 12...a fucking weepy mess.

I unfortunatly do not have the kind of job that allows my mind to be occupied all day with work things, so any tips to avoid weeping at work would be much appreciated.

I went to yoga yesterday, and cried, but in the mess I did think of a good mantra for myself...though currently I'm having trouble beleiving it. 

I am enough.

Simple and straight to the point.  Alright since I  am actually at work I should probably get off blogger and on LIMS. 


PS - eye make up was a bad idea

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Ahhh yoga

Oh yoga how do I love thee? 

I have been in an awful headspace for the last day that I knew I needed a yoga practice.  That is the great thing about yoga.  No matter how you feel it makes you feel better.  Its a different kind of better then crossfit because crossfit sort of has this angry component to it so you feel good after doing a WOD but not the same.  Yoga is this calm after which I definitely needed a knew could be achieved.  It was actually a pretty athletic practice, cause I managed to keep up for the whole class, which doesn't always happen but it was a very calm practice at the same time. 

Anyways I feel much better now and definitely think I'll be going to yoga more regularly.  Even if for the current time there is a lot of yoga crying combo.  Funny enough its really hard to get through the uggi breath when you are weeping cause at least my nose cloggs quite vigorously. 



In other news toying with getting a tattoo.  We'll see if that happens. 

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Sucky

So I was just thinking, it's funny. I'm so unused to being regular sick it's kind of ridiculous. I've had a cold for the last week and I really don't know how to slow down.  But I have.... then today really sucked.  I don't really want to go into it but lets just say I'm really sad for now and I'm not sure what to do about it.  I think i'll be spending a lot of time at Crossfit and Yoga to help get through this.

Monday, January 7, 2013

Web view of donkey show

http://youtu.be/QTvVPrszWgY

You tube of donkey show... To give you the idea

3_0 birthday recap

Today is my 30th birthday officially. Ok this post was started yesterday... Though the festivities have definitely started on Friday. It's been an interesting time and very retrospective because of what was going on last year. Lets just say this year is already looking up. Next week I will not be starting chemo, I did just have major surgery, I have boobs... It's all good. So 30 bring it on.

That being said let's recap what I have done this weekend. Friday night I went to the elephant walk with the parentals and the siblings. It's a Cambodian French fusion restaurant in Cambridge, well Boston too but we went to the Cambridge one. It was quite tasty. I had some sort of rice noodle stir fry. And some Mocha cake. It's always nice to go out with the whole fam because we don't do that nearly as often... And inevitably my brother ends up making fun of my parents in some way.. Which is always really funny. I've been kind of really sick lately so it was nice to have a low key night.

Saturday started with sleeping in. woohoo! I'm always appreciate when I have a chance to sleep in and my body actually lets me. I've had so much trouble with sleep for the last 6 months that it gets a bit frustrating when the body doesn't behave.

So anyways, I made myself a nice breakfast and got ready for my present to myself... A 90 min massage at pyara. It was awesome. I mean I love massages anyway, but a 90 min one was completely decadent and fabulous and I finished and sort of had this feeling of "I have to walk home now... Can't you just wheel me out on this bed" my feeling that is was completely worth the money.

Fun aside. My aunt found a bond purchased in 1987 for me in my grandfathers safe deposit box. It had almost doubled in value. How cool is that.

I got to relax for a bit before I met K and M for dinner at Grafton Street. It was quite tasty. I hadn't ever been there but I've passed by it a million times. I had salmon which was quite good. i definitely will go there again, possibly when i can drink adult beverages since they had what looked like a good menu... too many cold pills this night though.... After dinner we met my dad and sister to go to the donkey show. Ill include a web link because words can't describe. It was really fun and made me want to go dancing a little more often.

Sunday I slept in after K left for work. And met M, S and L for brunch at Max brenner. Holy chocolate as always. It was a really good time with good conversation and good food. I always like it when my friends from different walks of life can get along :) M drove me home and we chatted for a bit before I finished off the day with a trip to the parentals to have cake with the gramps. And spaghetti squash with mama.

The night was finished with the biggest loser premiere part 1

:)

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Cooking adventures

So it being a new year, and the fact my GI tract has decided it no longer wants to play nice I will be commencing a paleo shift. I have a lot of cookbooks so I am armed and dangerous and ready to tackle the kitchen. I will be doing it slowly since my cabinet isn't quite paleo fide but once I get rid of everything it's all systems go. And here I will be able to report the recipie successes and failures :)

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

New Year's Day

Happy 2013 Everyone!!!
Today has been a good start to 2013. Very relaxing and rejuvenating.  Which I guess is a good way to start off the year.  Let me recap last nights festivities. 

I was in Providence with K, and we went to her cousin's party.  It was an interesting weekend because I have been kind of sick.  So between the recent snow storm in the north east and that I spent a lot of time in the car over the last 4 days.  So yesterday I actually spent the entire day driving to and from Boston to go to the Doctors....fun right?  I don't have pneumonia so that was good but it was definitely getting bad enough that I wanted a medical opinion.  Much to my mother's chagrin I did not stay in Boston on Sunday after having an extra day at the parental's on Saturday due to snow.  But I slept so badly on sunday night that I made the trek up to Boston to get some drugs...and I did :) so all was good.  I made it back to Providence with time to spare and headed over to the titanic themed new years party.  It was a lot of fun, though i was pretty not talkative because well too much talking and I'd just cough....so not really worth it.  But I had a good time regardless.  We rung in the new  year and then snuggled till the morning. 

I woke up to a lovely breakfast before I had to get back into the car and drive home.  Since theoretically I have to go to work tomorrow :(  I know sad right.  So i wanted to come back with enough time to rest and re-rejuvenate to have the best chance to go in tomorrow.  Not that I really care since we now have unlimited sick days.  It just looks really really bad to be sick after a 4 day weekend.  I did ask the doctor for a work note so at least I can have some proof if I get anything weird about it.  But we'll see in the morning.

Today has also given me the chance to reflect on 2012.   IT was admittedly kind of a shitty year for a great deal of it.  But in thinking about it the second half of the year was pretty damn good so I'm definitely feeling fortunate and I think my fortunes are looking up.

Recap in semi-chronolgical order
- Jan 13. 2012. - started chemotherapy (that was fun..and I post boned a week so that I wouldn't start on my birthday)
- End of Jan - port put in - first experience with Cardio dept
- Jan 30, 2012 - became Full time at Biogen Idec 
- Beginning of March - Finished Chemo - HURRAY
- End of March - Final Reconstruction completed  - Another HURRAY
-  JUNE 1st 2012 - moved to Cambridge !!!!
- First two weekends in JUNE - took Prana Power Yoga assistant training and LOVED IT
- Mid July - Went to Nashville to visit S and T
- Aug  - became full time assistant for A's hour of power yoga class...let the Friday night parties begin.  
- Mid Aug - Went on First Date with K
- Mid Aug - Went to Cirque du Soleil with S
- Sept 2nd 2012 - K asked me to go Steady :)
- Nov 24 - Dec 9 - trip to London , and Oslo - Awesometastic
- Dec 20th (ish ) - Nutcracker at Boston Ballet
- Dec 25 2012 - K and T first pj christmas party :)
- Dec 31 2012 - Sink 2012 NYE party





And that is all... Bring it on 2013....I'm ready for you.