Thursday, July 24, 2014

Ode to femininity

I've been thinking a lot about what makes you feminine and what makes you not. In an age where gender has basically become relative and one can use whatever pronoun one wants to describe onesself, what makes me a girl.

I think I've been thinking about this mainly because it's hard to feel pretty when you're being medically assaulted regularly and you are legitamatly unsure on what part of your body is going to work at any time, it's hard to feel like the lady you know you are. 

I'm not going to lie and say before this I always found myself pretty, because that would be a joke. My outward and inward appearance has been a constant re-evaluation for basically my entire adult life. 

I'm at a point in my life where I'm pretty happy with the inward. There are things I would change, thoughts I wish I could erase, but overall I think I have very pretty insides.  The outside has been more of a struggle.  So at a time where I am not a huge fan of the way I look, and the fact is out of my control that I look this way, why not examine things that I feel are truest feminine, especially when my very essence of femininity (estrogen reseptor positive tumor and all) is really the cause of it.  

Maybe a better title would be "what makes me a women" 

We'll start with the obvious... Lady parts. Them I've got and them I'm a fan of.  Even if boobs get in the way sometimes. Long hair... Oops don't have that, but does that make me womanly... I'm going with no. Yes I'd like more then I currently have 
Still a bit sparse up top. But I've spent a long part of my adult life with short hair and I think that wear I'll stay.  Lady like eyebrows... Ok don't laugh... Naturally I have eyebrows that look sort of like I was related to Andy roonie.  They are sparse right now, which I can deal with. And I already have a close and personal relationship with an esstitition (think that's 
How you spell that word) which brings up my next point... Body hair.  This is actually something in general I've never minded. Who gives a shit if I'm a girl with hairy arms? What they forget to tell you when they shut down your ovaries is that your ability to grow a mustache exponentially increases... Thank god I already know someone who's good with the hot wax.  My desire to or desire not to wear makeup, jewelry or "girly" clothes. And this is where I think today's society is kind of awesome.... Whoooo cares? Being someone who does or doesn't do those things does not make me any more or less pretty. Granted if I feel better in something that's one thing( yoga pants anyone) but otherwise big freakin woop.  If I am someone who wears a dress once a year at Easter it really doesn't make me any differnt. 

In my opinion the. Best part about being a women in today's society is the ability to be whatever. If I'm never described as glam, or fashionista that is not going to break the bank. I'd rather have descriptors like 
Self reliant 
Muscle- y 
Good listener 
Great cook 

And really the rest doesn't matter one bit

1 comment:

  1. Love this post, Terese! The most beautiful people are comfortable in their own skin and who they are (strong, kind, etc.). And you are beautiful any way you define it. :)