Some people are aware of my desire to become a nurse and it was this interaction that had made me realize again the important it is to have good people to talk to in medical situations and the importance of having someone there that can "talk you off the ledge". I also know I could be that person.
I had been sort of freaking out about a few things and in the end the reasons don't matter. But I called my Doctor to come in and be seen. And because I could see her quicker they have me an appointment with the NP. So I went in and went through the whole rigamaroll of what had been going on and how I was feeling, and see listened attentively. And when I was done said "ok we're going to do a full exam". She did the exam and then re-read some reports. And gave her opinion about what was to be done. Everything she said was very reasonable and she gave me her idea of the plan.
The most magical part of the experience was after she finished her "we should do this.... " speach she asked me how I felt about it. It felt so egalitarian and in asking she acknowledged my fears and legitimized the freak out. And that was great. In doing that I realized a bit more that I'm doing the right thing, I'm fine and things will work out.
Granted it's still hard for me to feel that way. REALLY hard depending on the day, but taking the edge off was great.
Side note : she used the words "hot mess" more then once... Which surprisingly made things better.
So why are NP's awesome. Because she took the time, listened and rationalized my fears, but didn't allow my fears to drive her decisions. She made me feel 50% less crazy, and that I was doing the right thing. My main hope is that someday I will be able to do that for someone else. And in taking the 45 min out of my day, help someone make it through a tense few months.