Saturday, July 7, 2012

Three quarters done

So day three of assistant training  began with fear again.  Its funny how after feeling really good after day 2 it was weird how nervous I felt going in for Day 3.  Its totally that mentality of though they liked me last weekend, will they like me again this weekend.  Also I've been feeling a bit socially stunted lately because i spent so much time on my own in the last 6 months.  I mean I went weeks without seeing people so I definitely get way more stressed out about it now.  And making small talk! Forget about it.  I feel like a 5yr old.  Seriously.  Though I'm realizing I have a knack to get people talking and my good listening skills come in handy.  Because lately I've gotten a bunch of people to open up to me which is flattering in a way.  And weird in another way.  I don't mind but sometimes i listen to people talk and think wow this is really personal stuff, and they are telling me about it.  How cool is that?

Anyways back to training.  Day 3 we did hip openers and twists.  These assists have an innate way of making you feel completely dumb because they are really hard to do.  Its one of those times where hesitation is frowned upon and you have to actually be kind of forceful in the assist. Not something I'm good at in general and especially when I'm new at something.  That is something I've always struggled with.  But I attempted and somewhat successfully made it through.  The hardest part of the day was when we had to run the "gauntlet".  Any time they use that word its scary. 

The two assistants that came to help and then the teachers took crescent lung twist and revolved triangle and we had to assist once in each pose until we got it right.  Which meant we  went through each line until we "passed".  I hate this kind of thing in school situations because I know I tend to learn things a bit slower then others, which I'm fine with.  I just don't like to broadcast it.  So I don't like this situation cause it feels like you get called out for not picking up the material quickly.   So i knew that I would likely be one of the last people and I was.

There was a time in my life that I wouldn't have been able to identify why I would be so uncomfortable with that situation, so YAY on that front but it would be nice if I didn't feel so uncomfortable to begin with.  But I guess growth comes slowly.

On a side note. 

I heard an interesting quote today.  "The thing about feelings is sometimes we have to feel them. "  Makes sense I mean we can't spend our lives surpressing everything or only feeling the "good ones".  And regardless of what the feeling is we need to work through them to make them go away.  Food for thought.

Anyways we finished off the day and I staggered home to get some rest for Day 4.  At least I officially live in Cambridge now.

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