Wednesday, April 2, 2014

What the heck universe?

Be warned there maybe be poop talk, just saying. If you don't want to hear it, stop reading now. 

Ok I warned you. 

Moving on. So lately I've been more aware of the messages that the universe may be sending me, just in general. That doesn't mean I'm any good at decoding them, but I am getting better at seeing them.  So far there has been two that I've sort of been scratching my head at. 

First the non poop related one. So it's no secret I do all of my dating through online mediums.  It doesn't really matter which site or whatever but let's say I have a decent online presence in that realm.  Hey a girls got to shop around to get what she wants. Anyways, so I decided when cancer happened that I would basically take myself out of the market. I didn't disactivate anything but I said that would be too weird a thing to do, especially since I have to be decently selfish to do what I need to do. Not exactly the image of me normally. Anyways so I hadn't really thought about it, taking myself out of the running felt natural. And then the internet had other plans. After going through a semi dormant phase the accounts keep getting messaged.   I think the universe wants me to re-evaluate.  So I did and then I realized that saying I have or saying I had cancer really sounds about the same. So why not at least enjoy some email flirtation....if I get to the point of meeting anyone in person we can decided what to do from there.  Thanks for the curve ball universe.... Maybe I was being to hard on myself. 

Now on to the poop.  So a few people know that I have had digestive issues like forever. I mean if you've traveled with me you've seen the miralax. 
Or in one case participated :-) 

So when one of the chemo drugs was said to prompt bowel evacuation I was actually excited. Which I know is weird. But at least it would be a few months of not having to worry about things in that department.  Unfortunately things have not quite flowed in that way, and in fact have been closer to a pain in the butt.... Literally.  I don't know if the stomach cramps are me or the chemo but it's like seriously. I wouldn't even mind running to the bathroom more often... I mean I drink a lot of water so that happens anyway. But could I digest without some sort of issue for some part of my life, especially when the rest of me feels like crap. 

I actually realized I had one more irony. So I have to take this shot that permots white blood cell growth after chemo, and one of the side effects is bone pain.  Last time I had to take it too, and didn't really remember any such pain. The irony being that Claridon for whatever reason elevates the pain, and last time I was popping those puppies like candy. So guess who on the urging of the acupuncturist went of Claridon 2 months ago... This kid. So at least for now back on the Claridon right before and after the shot. 

Yay more pills. Oh universe you're such a jokester   

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