Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Tough week

Starting 17mar14- 

This Monday I had my "multi" appointment at MGH. Which is basically doctor code where you sit in a room for 2 hrs and see a bunch of docs. I mean it's an efficient way go, but a touch on the overwhelming side.  I mean we are talking cancer here, so it's not like the information isn't just a little weighty... You think? 

I brought my mom along for as she put it, comic relief. Which was a good idea cause it gets extremely boring being stuck in the room with nothing to do, and can almost be a little claustrophobic. So wise choice on my part... And we revised the really inappropriate though completely funny cancer humor. I like that it gives me an even more pass to say what ever the hell I want. Even to the constrination of others. Tough shit. 

Anyway I digress alittle... Again tough shit.  So first on the agenda was medical oncology. I actually like this guy a lot. He's good and very practical. Things you'd want in a guy that is fixing them to pump toxic chemicals into your veins.  So we discussed chemotherapy. Which is happening again, and I'm actually happy about it. I mean at least I know I'm doing everything out there... As much as chemo is shitty. And going bald is shitty I want to feel like I'm doing everything.  So chemo is back on the table. At least I know what I look like bald. So no surprise there. Just got to do it.  They also inspected my veins so I should be good without a port. No human cyborg. Woot woot. That is fine by me.  I mean that was no fun at all. So after 3 months in chemo land, I'll move over to radiation land. 

I get a month off to recoop. I know friendly right? And then I'm going to for radiation for 6wks.  The good thing about that is the apts are only ~ 30 min long. The bad thing is they are 30 min long, and 5 days a week.  So that will be more annouying then anything else and really not make me want to get any work done. I hope I can get a slot either at the beginning or end of the day. So at least the whole work interruption thing can be avoided. Maybe I'll play the lab card... They should understand that. And granted we're talking anywhere outside of 10-3. I think that should be doable.   

The thing that has been the hardest to wrap my head around is basically if I want to do IVF before I pour toxic chemicals in my body. Basically they said it was a chance that my ovaries might decide not to work after all is said and done. So I have to decide if I want to create a potential more of a guarantee by freezing eggs. Unfortunately it's not the  perfect situation. Storage is pricy. Unfertilized eggs don't do as well. There is some significant prep involved. And it's yet another procedure. 

The whole thing has been freaking me out a bit. It feels like a very big decision and sort of feels unnatural. I mean there is no for sure, so it's hard to fully commit. Also I know my insurance only covers storage for 2 yrs. and  that's not a ton of time, and it's super expensive. Basically there is a lot to think about, and this is before I meet with the dr... But I have to wait because the apt is on tuesday of next week. 

I hate waiting!!!!!!

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